Anxiety

26 on the 24th of September. I had to subtract the years to compute the math. I was a little overwhelmed. What made this year so different from the one before? You know they say 25 is one of the big ones, but in true anti-norm girl fashion 26 was the one that did it for me. I had always knew who I wanted to be and for as long as I can remember tried to keep that vision in a safe place. Here at 26, I was not living up to the life that I created for myself in my head. I was a slave to my own thoughts, a victim of my own doubts, and ultimately living in a twilight zone. I knew that in order to be successful I had to be me consistently. All the while I had the resources all around me I never thought to apply it to my life. I even earned my business degree to add more value to my existing skills and be more marketable. All this valuable time spent on tasks and activities that were to better myself were just bullet points on a resume.

Don’t let anyone make the last decisions in your life. Friends and family are supposed to be proud of you and give encouraging words of praise when you are doing good things. The point that’s missing is what are you doing? And why are they proud of you for doing it? A lot of times parents baby their children and this doesn’t always create the best outcome for the child socially in the world because they look for this in people who don’t give a shit about them. Work smarter not harder is a major gem. I know any honest and passionate about what they’re doing person doesn’t want to cheat the hustle. That is not what I am saying. I am saying figure out the business that you want to create or be a part of and then create a goal to progress yourself and the business in some way. You should be challenging yourself in new ways. This leads to another major key which is challenging yourself in a healthy and ethical way. Life is crazy I know this, but it doesn’t have to be. Just as you woke up this morning, you have to take that same energy and go do the things you need to do in order to be productive and beneficial to your business. First things first you need to be in the right state of mind and body. Make sure you are getting enough rest and eating a healthy balanced meal three times a day. I’m no fitness guru so I can’t tell anyone to go to the gym. I do know that working out makes you feel great and relieves stress. I miss it but it is something you make time for and I won’t right now. This feels great. I am 26 and I don’t have to be nice or submissive. I am a grown ass woman. Something ironic about growing older is that you start to care less of what others want and think! You really can own who you are. It’s like “Yeah mfer you talked sh^t about in my high school but look at your ugly self now.” LOL The 25 year old me still hasn’t worn off. Petty as hell. But on some real…

I have come so far and I am so blessed. No one can steal my joy or happiness because GOD knows my heart. I just want more of whatever is in store for me and I hope to acquiesce in more life, more love, and blessings. So you see this is my true thought. My anxieties. I’ve shared my soul, but when I come back to reality I know that I am such a GODdess and the world is mine for the taking. I have to learn to practice patience and experientially saying that growing older is the cure. Thank you Universe for another year to grow.

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